Beach day , to being Home alone
As our society seems to progress, most lifestyles are celebrated. But, people can still feel the shame of divorce or failed relationships, especially when children are involved.
The term ‘CoParenting’, sometimes, is the separated parent’s ‘go-to-word’. I have even been guilty of thinking, “it sounds more tasteful”, “it makes my family lifestyle acceptable”, “it makes me look like a more responsible parent”, and the classic – “my family lifestyle will seem healthier to other people”.
Coparenting is the best goal I ever set for myself. But I felt frustrated we werent already there, even though I was too ashamed to say otherwise.
There was a time when our parenting was linear. Our relationship was full of turmoil and the conversations were not conversations, but simply arguments.
Truthfully, getting to a real and somewhat healthy coparenting dynamic doesn’t happen over night. This can be drepressing when we reflect on our past and present situation & events. We tend to feel hopelessness in some area of our life. Even now, when we have conflict I feel ashamed that we somehow regressed. Fearful that I will go back to the time when I hid what we really were.
Some people can end their relationship very amicably. But still I stress, in a situation like ours, coparenting is a development.
I would dare speculate and say some people developed their coparenting lifestyle while still in the relationship. Then, when they split up, they feel comfortable keeping their prior parenting dynamic. (I would suggest not comparing yourself to this if you are freshly seperated.)
I noticed when we first started to try to coparent; all our fallouts brought drepression into my life. Into his life as well. Living as a single parent can be disheartening. Hope during these times is and can only be created by you. It’s the only way out of the depression.
I try to hope: Though we can never be perfect coparents, we can persevere through the tough seasons.
& I hope: Every family member can become stronger because of it.
I also hold onto and turn to my hope I have in Jesus. (but that’s different for everyone)
I rejoice in what I do as a parent. I think about how I can better my children. Eventually, I think about and appreciate what their father brings to their lives.
These are somethings we can think about in times of sadness or shame. At the bottom of the depression pit we just have to scrape together everything and anything pleasant.
If you’re here visiting, I encourage you to never lose hope. Even when things seem like they won’t or can’t go wrong, still have joy and appreciation for the other parent to fall back on if they do.
Stay hopeful darling.